Separating Not Leaving

Many young adults these days are being forced into living at home with their parents for longer periods. In many cases the decision to remain in the familial home is framed by practical considerations and the ever increasing costs of living in a modern world. Teenagers and young adults according to the statistics, prefer to move out of home in order to increase their Independence. According to developmental theories, moving out of home is a kind of literal manifestation of the separation process and achieving adulthood.

The Statistics in Australia are 30% Currently

What happens if during this individuation process, the young adult does not have the literal experience to symbolize the psychological process? Can proper psycho-separation be achieved while living under the same roof as the parent figure? Can dependence on parents effectively shift to Independence from parents while living at home?

When Does The Dummy Really Come Out?

The short answer is that everything is possible when it comes to Human evolution and survival techniques. Different cultures around the globe have been learning to survive and adapt for centuries. It does however, place extra pressure on those cultures like mine, which are in the early throes family structural transformations.

Been Doing It For Years

When I was eighteen, I left home to live with friends in a shared house. I think the rent in those days was about $60 per week for a reasonable house. It took me a couple of goes to eventually leave home. The process for me involved anger and heated debates about different value-beliefs. I was very grateful in the end for my parents difference of opinion and unwillingness to accept certain beliefs on my part. We experienced conflict and then separation came in a physical context.

Time To Leave Home

Perhaps in older generations we left home once we got married and that was the determinate aspect of becoming independent from parents. It meant that we had to find a husband or wife in order to separate. Perhaps the literal experience of separation in those days was more physical than current times. One finally knew they were separate from daily parent influences.
These days parents build extra rooms or renovate the garage space to create separate living areas for their adult children to stay at home. Some parents I know who are single parents, build new houses incorporating separate living spaces for their growing children. The children become involved contractually by sharing mortgage responsibility.

I know my generational place perhaps when I consider the options available for modern family units to live under the same roof for longer. Perhaps my need for independence and relatively high Rebellious Child part would feel limited and restricted in such on going family units.

I would feel better to be separate even if it meant living in a house like this!

But that is just me!

Kenoath