Ken Abrahams

On Anger Work

2010-12-20T11:58:00.013+08:00

And the use of punching bags

I have been working with children, teenagers and adults for over ten years. In that time I have facilitated many anger management groups and face to face anger management/therapy sessions.

The nature of my work with clients develops in line with each individual case. The process of Anger Therapy proceeds in the best way any client might be able to do that work. There are several counselling modalities which I may use during sessions to achieve the best results. Some of these techniques include; Cognitive, Behavioural, Relational, Play Therapy (competitive transference's), Re Decisional (Gestalt) and Cathartic (Affective) modalities. The underlying modality in which my understanding of the client and the therapeutic relationship is via my Transactional Analysis background. Of course, the synthesis of my techniques are very much drawn from my experiential practice of these techniques. My own personal evolvement, empathy and genuiness with clients is paramount in the healing process.(Ongoing supervision and personal therapy helps).

The first counselling session involves an interview designed to assess both parent and or child/person to a desired treatment plan. For example; a client may present with suppression like issues, periodic rage and other behavioural issues. Although working case by case this kind of anger issue requires building safety and trust so that the client may express their feelings comfortably.

Cathartic Artwork

Alternatively a client may present with overt anger (always angry) of which may be a “covering” emotion used as a defence to other feelings. In some cases the "covering" or expressed feeling and behaviour is not the desired feeling to work with in counselling. The client’s anger is still valid and causing dysfunction in their life however the anger is not the underlying or authentic issue. I will assess clients for the best therapeutic treatment plan in each case. In some cases there is more anger underneath surface feelings and the underlying feelings of perhaps sad and hurt. The latter client will usually need longer term therapy styles.

Assessing the client’s resistance to working with certain feelings is usually the guide to which counselling style is best and which issue to begin with in therapy. See article about Parent and Child assessment interview here, http://kabrahams.blogspot.com/2008/06/parent-and-child-interview.html

Some clients present with what I describe as an “unfathomable motivation” to resist all manner of techniques that might help them (defiant), however they still appear to enjoy going to counselling. Whether this particular type of client has mental health or personality issues it doesn’t really matter however the therapy in my view, must take a different path.

With the more difficult type of psychological impasses the all important process is to connect with the part of personality (of the client) that is causing the behavioural issues. You may recognise this aspect in personality via incongruous behaviours and body language when compared to their current predicament. These behaviours are often the source of a clients “misunderstood life” and which seem to reinforce angry belief systems such as the incarcerated person or prisoner. Establishing a therapeutic relationship may take some time with this type of client or it may not be possible.

Such clients may express “gallows” laughter when the counsellor is direct and genuine in their questioning. All clients show a measure of resistance. Difficult clients usually show other ingenious and creative ploys to maintain defence mechanisms when invited to deal with authentic feelings.

These kinds of resistant behaviours are best acknowledged in some way so that the client knows they are being understood by the counsellor. I often reflect a quality of the “genius” in this creative process even if the client has destructive or manipulative qualities. The client benefits when they can begin to differentiate aggressive and creative elements of personality. It is reasonable to say that this "sense of genius” may also render the therapeutic alliance unworkable! In some cases “no therapy” is the best therapeutic intervention to initially take.

Obviously there are creative ways in which to make client assessments without them disengaging from counselling. Clients prefer to engage after a well established rapport is developed. Some clients will resist anything that looks like a technique designed to effect change in counselling. Some techniques and cognitive activities are like chores to these clients and they sense, that in the end, it will only point out “more that is wrong with them”. Following this precarious track in counselling runs the risk of pathologising the client further. When working with anger issues and teenagers the Client Centred approach is a better idea than than reinforcing a client's potential negative attitudes towards authority.

I am familiar with a cathartic technique that I use in my sessions with clients. Its a technique that can be very helpful with some clients. I will only use this technique with clients who I know, who have a reasonable cognitive process and who are ready to participate in cathartic work.

In some cases the cathartic technique can help children experience how anger can be okay. To experience anger in controlled situations where no one gets hurt, no one gets into trouble and nothing is damaged. If the client understands there is another way to deal with their angry feelings (safely) they usually show great relief. If the client can achieve such a revelation, they can be more open to other therapeutic styles in counselling and cbe willing to attend further appointments.

My aim in the initial therapeutic setting is to establish a “contract” for change if that is at all possible. It doesn't matter that a contract is about "support" through the juvenile justice system or if the client is an unwilling participant. If the client is going to entertain the idea of "change" its a good idea if they have an understanding of their current emotional patterns and learn to visualise new models.

“Where do you keep your anger and when does it come out”

Youths and adults who wish to devise their own plans for anger management must have some basic skills of the cathartic process and be armed with an idea about "practising different behaviours". The rules of engagement with regards to using punching bags are the boundaries and discipline involved in clients helping themselves. I advise against some mothers who suggest buying punching bags for use at home until the client has learned how the process works. I would prefer if the client practices the method in therapy at least a few times before disengaging from counselling (if that is their intentions).

If parents must buy a punching bag then I advise them to buy a tackle bag which is comprised of foam and plastic covering. The old boxing bag filled with socks and sawdust is too hard and could potentially injure the client. The foam filled tackle bags do not require the person to tie on boxing gloves to protect their fists when hitting the bag, the person can also avoid any delays in expressing anger.

After the initial interview and if the client is ready to experience “Big Red” I will help the client pick a minor issue in their life where they experience anger. That is, instead of a complex parental rejection or abuse issue the client chooses a recent but identifiable issue that reflects their current concerns. The client may report that a particular person could “treat them better” or a particular situation is “unfair”.

The idea is to express anger whilst acknowledging (validating) the underlying feelings, such as “unfairness” (read as sad and hurt feelings). Slowly and methodically I will help the client approach the punching bag and to hold the batarcka stick with two hands.

I invite them to say a few words before expressing their anger on the punching bag. I may go back over the scenario they presented and pick the best cathartic statement for them to use when hitting the bag. I might invite them to say “its unfair” before hitting the bag. “BANG”. It may take a few hits to get in the swing of things however after some encouragement the client reaches a level of catharsis. Depending on what is going on for the client at this stage, I ask them to stop and invite them to reflect on what they are feeling in their body. All the while I am observing the client's body language for signs of other feelings emerging.

“What is going on” “what is happening inside” “is it a good feeling or unpleasant feeling”??

Usually it’s a feeling of joy and relief and the client is smiling. They report, “it’s a good thing”. I invite them to hit the bag a few more times and then reflect how they just proved to themselves that getting angry feelings out feels good. I ask them “did anyone get hurt”? “Did anyone get into trouble”? “Is anything broken”? They reply No! On many occasions clients swing their hips or bend over saying that they feel tired now.

I let them know again “That’s one way to express anger where it feels good and where no one gets into trouble”.

During group anger management sessions a client may develop confidence over time to express re decisions about themselves through cathartic techniques. If the client believes that they are unimportant (not good enough in the eyes of someone) they use the words “I am important” “I am good enough” before hitting the bag. The technique is useful in self esteem and assertiveness training where the client alleviates stressful internal or dynamic dialogues.

I don’t often enjoy setting up therapeutic techniques to fail however if a particular client will not hit the bag and begins to cry or offer greater resistance to the idea, I will carefully back out by nurturing and acknowledging their bravery in attempting such a thing. In some cases the client may acknowledge feeling their "resistance" to the activity and that “it” stopped them from expressing what they thought they felt like expressing. The psychotherapeutic concepts in Potency, Protection and Permissions for effective therapy underpin my style of work with clients. In many cases children require therapeutic "permissions" to have feelings in counselling. Sometimes mothers are in the room during the session and I will ask her "is it ok if I show your child how to get some anger out".

In summary the cathartic technique is only a part of a larger therapeutic plan and is not to be considered the panacea for angry feelings or behaviours. In some cases, clients show behavioural improvements in the short term and gain a great deal from a few counselling sessions. Others may require further work, building trust and safety before expressing their feelings. Perhaps the way I work with catharsis allows the therapeutic relationship to develop further, while dismissing preconceived ideas about anger counselling? The person experiences feelings by putting their feelings into motion in safe and controlled settings. They learn to move stressful feelings outside of their body and gain a sense of empowerment by “doing something”. To begin taking responsibility for feelings and having a way that helps is empowering. Having a device that works in counselling in contrast to the fear of being out of control (rage) or helpless is a step towards expressing feelings appropriately.

Ken Abrahams

Information about my services can be found by clicking here.

Parent and Child Interview

2008-06-07T14:00:00.010+08:00

Working with children often requires gathering as much information from the parent and child relationship as possible. Often the nature of the relationship between Mother and child 'contains' the information required for the child's treatment plan in counselling. How can a counsellor gather Parent and Child information while effecting therapeutic gain at the same time?

Usually when I see a new client under 17 years of age I will invite both child and parent to the first counselling session. While taking the contact details and asking routine client information details, the child and parent being to settle comfortably in the room. I often find that the parent is needing to launch into the problematic scenarios of their child and sometimes they might be holding a report from school. Taking the initial interview slowly is helpful and is a containing method in counselling. I will always ask the parent whether the child is receiving treatments for anything. I ask the child his or her age inviting them to engaging with me. Often the reply to treatments is in relation to ADHD medications or asthma etc. This is a good opportunity to ask the child whether they think the medications work for them. Some children say yes and others say no. I stroke the child's ability to respond by saying "I like the way you know that".

The next thing to do is inquire about the contract for counselling. I invite the parent to describe the things she hopes her son or daughter might achieve in counselling if he/she is ok about doing some work with me. Leaving the option whether the child continues counselling is helping to peel off Driver functions and the pressures for child adapting in counselling. It is also building my relationship with the child and allowing time to observe any adverse reactions in the child.

It is also important (in some cases) to "hear" the Parent Contract from the parent directly. What I mean by this is to observe how the parent expresses their "hopes" for the child in terms of their own values. Often the Mother will begin to describe negative behaviours, however I will stop her and invite her to think about the positive things she hopes her child will gain from counselling. This is not an easy question for some parents. The most common and easy option for a parent is to say "I want my son to be happy" or "I want him to control his anger". I will spend some time helping the parent to re frame her "hopes" and investigate the benefits for the child if he does achieve such things from counselling. The positive outcomes for the child might mean having more friends, better relations at home etc. The child is listening intently to the parent voice and aligning mothers hopes with the possibilities in their mind. The child at seems to acclimatize to the counselling process as I work with the parent.

I will engage with the child next by asking about siblings and their ages while I am drawing the genogram of the family unit. In many cases parents have split up, so by asking empathicly, "when did you see Dad last" is imperative. Checking how often the child engages with a separated parent is also very important information. If there are any signs of affective responses in the child's body language I will note that.

Observing the body language between child and parent in the early stages of the interview is the best means of information gathering.

It may be that the child is sitting in the chair in some manner, or the child diverts their attention to some play toys near by. Perhaps the child is siting quietly or being vocal, answering questions which are directed at the mother? All of these initial observations are very important signs to the child's attachment style and adaptations to the parent.

Perhaps I will ask the child in a straight way "do you think you have an anger issue" (like what mum is saying). I will always stroke their answer if they offer one.

The next part of the interview is to gain the permission from the child for me to ask the parent about behaviours. I describe that feelings are like snow flakes, everyone has unique ways to express feelings. "If I know about your special kind of feelings then I will know more about you". I invite the child to have a say if he or she disagrees with what the parent says. Usually the child says "yes ok". But it is not enough to leave this invitation just there, its best to formalise the contract to speak up by asking "How will you let me know that you disagree with her"? It is a simple question however most children stumble around before saying "I will just say something". "Ok, good idea", I say. I need the child to be "in the room" (psychologically) and in this way to invite them into thinking about what is being said.

If the issue of anger has been raised initially I ask the parent to describe their observations of what the child "does" when he or she gets angry. I develop safety with the child by containing the parent from describing all manner of problems the child may have. "I am writing a small list" I say. The list will usually show the kind of anger that the child exhibits. The child may throw objects when angry but not breaking anything, the child may be throwing things which are smashing. The anger might be verbal, or with clenched teeth or fists. The child might be using a threatening style of behaviour which may indicate concerns around control.

The child's behaviours may reflect backing away or standing his ground. The child may run out the front or back door when angry. These are the important pieces of information to understand how the child's process of resentment, repression, displacement, withdrawal are working. In many cases this information may help to locate particular developmental stages the child may be recycling in their attempts to handle their life. Perhaps self esteem work is required in combination to anger work? Along the way I support the child's concerns by offering nurturing responses such as "that doesn't sound fair" or "that is a pretty common behaviour that I hear of".

The best outcome for ongoing counselling with children requires the enlisting of both parent and child into committing to the process. Developing safety and building relationship with the child is paramountl. The initial counselling interview with parent and child is not only about information gathering however developing all manner of contracts and establishing the counsellor-client relationship. I have so far described about one half of the initial assessment interview. I guess we are about half way through the hour session at this point.

My next installment will describe how to gain information about the child's own ability to deal with angry feelings, their ability to desensitise. I will describe how the child can identify patterns in their thinking feeling and behaviours. I will describe how I Invite the child into a contract for change and then participate in a simple activity where they can prove themselves that anger can be expressed without getting into trouble. I will also describe how feelings arise for the parent during the interview and the benefit for the Parent and Child relationship.

Kenoath

Can't Come Won't Come

2008-05-29T16:20:00.004+08:00

I am starting to wonder how many ways a client find to not come to counselling. It seems that the surf must be good today and the waves might be a better option to counselling sessions.

Is it the weather or is there something going on in the stars? I was even cancelled by my dentist this week which resulted in my own supervision session being cancelled. I have dealt with many intermittent cancellations over the last ten years however when there are several cancellations all in a matter of hours, I begin to wonder about the "collective". Teenagers can easily not be around for their parents to bring them in for counselling rather than taking responsibility in saying they don't want to come today. For some clients I have an idea that some part of the "not coming" to a session relates to recent situations in their lives they wish to avoid. "Won't Come"! I wonder what they are hiding from?

Perhaps it is the Moon or the stars, like Seasonal Affective Disorder. On my other blog (Kingsley) I talk about the current state of Astrological effects and it seems to be spot on for this week happenings. I feel ok about clients taking a different approach because it means that something is changing for them. Not many clients like getting a cancellation fees however their decision in not coming must say something for them.

I know I don't like going to the dentist because my teeth are pretty average. I know the dentist won't be critical of me but somewhere in the back of my mind there is some resistance to put myself in the chair. Perhaps I will feel bad? I will have to confront myself with the reality of my fillings etc. I know that I am not bad, even one or two of my teeth are bad. Well, this week I made an appointment only to be cancelled. Phew! Hang on, I need to get something fixed and it has taken me some effort to be assertive to make the appointment.

I can understand that clients need to cancel occasionally. There is a perceived degree of pain perhaps that some clients can't or wont face. In my mind that is the best time to go to counselling because there are some issues close to the surface. I know the spate of cancellations recently have nothing to do with my abilities and my cancellation fees will hopefully be paid.

Sometimes its just a matter of making a decision not to go. In my mind that is not a bad thing. At least the client is in some way making a decision from their child part

kenoath

Mind Snap

2008-04-17T10:44:00.007+08:00

There seems to be a great deal of controversy in the ranks of Australian Rules Football these days. As the football nation gets over the all encompassing Ben Cousins drug affair, new players are emerging into the bad behaviour spotlight. Recently we have seen how some football stars have been caught for pissing on police station walls. At the moment the spotlight is on big bad Barry Hall.

Apparently Barry Hall is seeing a Psychiatrist for what he has called his "Mind-snap" and his unprovoked king punch to footballer Brent Staker. Well, the Sydney Swans and Barry Hall are in damage control and using whatever PR to shift focus away from an incident which in my view has brought the game into disrepute.

I have heard of situations where people suddenly "snap". Often kids and teenagers become overwhelmed with feelings and "do something" all of a sudden without thinking. I have two aspergers clients who exhibit this type of behaviour, weekly. Perhaps Barry Hall fits the aspergers profile and his psychiatrist will diagnose him with adult ADHD? Will the Australian football world accept that his actions were a part of his mental illness? But what about other footballers who have to play on Barry Hall after his suspension for the "one punch" on Brent Staker? Will these players be prepped in "psycho" techniques to avoid the wrath of Barry Halls mind snaps?

It is interesting that Ben Cousins received a 12 month ban for bringing the game into disrepute by his drug use and Barry Hall received only seven weeks for his "mind-snap". Then again, Australian football fans tend to enjoy a bit of rough play on the field. Even football commentators in the recent weeks have joked about physically aggressive incidents on the field like it was entertainment.

So it seems Australians, according to social sentiment, prefer knocking other blokes out with king punches rather than blokes "punching themselves" with drug abuse.

So the scoring of this sentiment stands so far as:
One Punch Mind snaps (aggravated assault causing grievous bodily harm) brings a 7 Week suspension.
Using drugs and having a co dependant substance abuse issue brings 12 month suspension and de listing from the AFL.

We Australians are a very funny and interesting lot.

Kenoath

Burnt Pizza

2008-04-10T15:43:00.007+08:00

Dimitris Pizza (not)

Setting out for dinner one night in Sydney recently the Motel manager confirmed with me that the Pizza shop across the road was very good indeed. The pizza shop seemed quite busy when I walked passed earlier in the evening. Perhaps it would have been best to eat earlier because by the time I went back, there were people everywhere eating and ordering pizza.

There must have been sixty people crammed into small rooms out back and in the front shop area of the pizza place. The young guy took my order and seemed very confident and skilled at his job. He did not write orders down and preferred to remember pizzas and clients. I think that is a very personal approach to customers. This guy was cool and he seemed to take the constant stream of making pizzas in his stride. I presumed his confident and stress less approach to making good pizzas was a part of his popularity in this inner Sydney suburb.

After waiting for some time in the take away chairs I took a note of the people before and after me to get some sense about when my dinner would be ready. I noticed how young Dimitris the pizza man, occasionally looked up with a smile as he scanned the faces waiting for their pizzas. I presumed he was determining the next order which was "ready to go".

By the time I stood up and claimed my pizza he quickly grabbed the pizza already in a box, situated in a warming hood above the single pizza oven. He knowingly said "this is yours".

Looking forward to eating a great Sydney Pizza I headed back to my room only to discover;

Burnt Offerings

Before eating the Pizza I considered walking it back across the road and presenting young Dimittris with this priceless flaw of a Pizza. In his seemingly seamless pizza world I wondered whether he singled me out in amongst his regular clients as a "burnt pizza fall guy". Admittedly I did look somewhat different to the other patrons in the shop. Perhaps I was not local enough looking compared to the hoards of young punters and one drunken dishevelled street guy sitting at a table?

At least young Dimitri's may have made a sound business decision, by using his intuition and picking me to give the burnt pizza to. I would be back in Perth the next day and Demetri's reputation would be in tact with no loss time or materials. So I ate the $11 dollar burnt pizza without any recourse except for now perhaps. As I put it on the blog record so to speak. Dimitris has a seamless stress less style of cool apparently. I guess if you get a burnt pizza its cool to be cool about it. Or at least that is the philosophy of Dimitris. Perhaps I have been initiated into the Dimitris Pizzas club and can claim that status next time I am in Darlinghurst.

Kenoath

Freedom Of Urination

2008-03-30T08:48:00.008+08:00

Recently there have been two AFL footballers in Australia caught pissing in public. It seems that when these behaviours come to light in the press, there is either a social trend brewing or its for the purpose of sensationalizing a normal practice. Usually it takes a high profile sportsman or entertainer to be caught doing something that is worth shaming him or her for. Remember John Cougar Mellencamp being busted for masturbating in a public lavatory?

Pissing is a quite a natural thing to do. When the need calls, why not just piss against a building or a tree outside? I think it can be quite invigorating to urinate in open spaces like the bush or outside in the garden at night time. It feels natural! Perhaps the Free Child enjoys connecting with that instinctive process, unbound from the parental protocols to piss in a toilet?

Recently, on a Saturday morning I wandered around the streets of an inner Sydney suburb and found remnants of the previous nights Free Child behaviours. When one's bladder is full of Piss (alcohol) it appears that a kind of instant relief is achieved by pissing in the street. It is a kind of celebration that the evening has been joyful and eventful. Perhaps it is a form of meeting one's own needs in a time of great pressure, unlike other individual needs that invariably do not get met.

I think after consuming enough alcohol, the right and wrong morals of the Parent Ego State tend to be gone. After drinking enough alcohol, the rational thinking that urinating in the street is unhealthy as well as against the law seems to be gone. It must be a new trend to frequent your favourite night club and save up ones bodily fluids for that special time afterwards. In the end, the Child part feels pressure in his or her bladder and acts spontaneously out of great need. When one's bladder is full of Piss (alcohol) it appears that there is instant relief by pissing in the street. It is a kind of celebration that the evening has been joyful and eventful.

So, is Urinating in Public a new trend sweeping our streets or have some high profile people been caught out exercising a natural and spontaneous bodily need? See the video and contemplate pissing in the street. The next time you wish to experiment some Free Child relief.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=St-GdHWCiro

kenoath

Child Power

2008-03-17T16:24:00.003+09:00

Child Power has much to say about hope, needs, intuition and inner equality. This photograph equates the final stages and outright confidence (perhaps bragging) of the childs resolve to counter - Parent injunctions and Parent Contracts. Perhaps this photo also represents my belief in child power and the 'weight' of individuality. (press photo to go larger)

kenoath

Natural Phenomena?

2008-03-17T09:50:00.000+09:00

Thursday June 7, 2007

The Guardian
"There are some stories that hook right into our primeval suspicions, that are unsurprising because they reinforce things we have believed, in however woolly a way, all along. A recent discovery by the Sussex police force, that incidents of anti-social behaviour rise significantly whenever there is a full moon, is one of them. Inspector Andy Parr, who has the unenviable responsibility of policing Brighton at weekends, set the number of violent crimes his force had recorded in the past year against the dates on which they had been committed and found that they peaked on payday - and when the moon was full. They now plan to beef up their patrols at full moon. "I'm aware that this is just one of many things that can influence public disorder, but if you speak to ambulance staff, they will tell you exactly the same," he said."

Recently a client on leaving a session asked me what I thought of the full moon. They asked whether or not the full moon has the capacity to affect people's behaviours? Seeing it was the end of the session I politely nodded and mentioned that fish and some other fauna seem to be affected by the Moon, why not humans? He knodded too and we appreciated looking forward to the next visit. Maybe he was just investigating the possibilities of the full moon effects and self actualising?

The Moon is constantly changing, softly reflecting light to earth in the dark night sky. The moon is always there or close by at least. The Moon is she, feminine and reflective and perhaps knows much between the dark and the light. The Moon is big, it seems a great distance away and it has been an object in the sky that many have scorned or blamed, loved and lived for over the centuries. The Moon is a constant companion to humans and beasts. We also may identify time and tides based on the lunar phase and the pivotal Full Moon. Humans have developed a relationship with the Moon and in most cases she is often referred to as the Mother.

Superstition, myth or truth? It seems that the full moon has been blamed for certain human behaviours. How can that be? Are our police and ambulance officers becoming lunar-ticked? It seems the belief that the cycles of the moon's orbit around the earth has some sort of affect with humans. This belief in the community has been apparently going on for many many centuries.

In post medeival times it was even argued in various court cases involving murder or aggressive crimes that the full moon caused some kind of temporary insanity for the defendant.

"It was the Full Moon that did it you're honor"

"It turned me into a right monster it did"

The Full Moon is only one stage of the Moon's cyclic relationship between the Earth and the Sun. The eight different phases of the Moon are like clockwork for people on earth and we experience them as one of nature's wonderful routines. Quite impressive really and no doubt one of the reasons ancient occult groups and various religions turned their focus to serious Moon worship.

The Moon has been a part of our every day life simply because it's there all the time. Like a silent friend in the sky she glows and changes shape from week to week. We have a kind of "object relationship with her even if we only glance up, once in a while. Obviously the Full Moon phase is quite dramatic in the night sky. The word Lunacy derived from Luna was obviously a form of insanity aligned with the Moon by early psychiatrists. The Moon is an object in the sky that seems to have great importance to humans, including the the focus of two super powers in the challenge to be the first man to land on the Moon.

Real picture or hollywood movie set? Autobelieve

It seems that over the centuries humans have developed beliefs about the Moon and especially about the effect of the Full Moon. Less seriously in recent times perhaps when people joke about the Full Moon rising. That we "better watch out" or "its oing to be crazy tonight". I wonder whether you remember the nursery rhime about the cow and the moon?

Hey diddle diddle the cat and the fiddle

The Cow jumped over the Moon

The little dog laughed to see such sport

and the dish ran away with the spoon

I could never really understand the Dish and the Spoon bit when I was a child but my point is that even nursery rhimes incorporate developing a relationship to the Moon. One would describe that relationship in this story as somewhat neurotic or dysfunctional at the least. Nonsensical. Crazy stuff happens, Shit happens in life, is the message being conveyed perhaps?

Do people become more self activated, self reactionated at the Full Moon? One could argue that we instinctively believe that happens because of our generational beliefs and ancient myths on the Full Moon. In the Object Relations part of the relationship to the Moon we are perhaps working to her clockwork and we instinctively know when to go "crazy", (try get her attention) according to the moons shape. We try to fill her expectations and attempt to self actualise around her at the full moon.

By the look of the article in the Guardian even Policemen are developing strategies for the full moon period in their communities. The Full Moon only comes around once per month. It is a timely reminder of the cycles of nature and the reality of such an embedded 'object' in our world.

Kenoath

Somatic Body Language

2008-03-13T15:59:00.012+09:00

The Physiological aspect of human condition has been the focus of many studies over the years. Like with understanding body language and other non verbal communications, perhaps physiological phenomenon is about deeper levels of unconscious communication or "Somatic Body Talking" (The body's body language). A persons body language is mainly interpreted by others in the environment and mostly is not that hard to understand.

Angry Child using arms, lips and eyes

Body language can be a helpful guide to the type of feelings one is having at any one time. Over time, individuals may learn to interpret their own body language and experiment to know whether that form of communication is an accurate expression for them. I certainly can tell when my shoulders raise up in some situations which indicate stress for me. Self reflection of various moods and thinking styles can help one's awareness in relationships. Overall and in most cases, body language can be a helpful guide to the type of feelings one is having.

I can remember my ex wife many years ago consistently sneezing before having sex. I thought it was curious at the time although I just laughed about the thought of her being allergic to me or perhaps that it was her preface to the excitement of sex? I just don't know really. Perhaps in this instance there is a degree of error in the interpretation of her body language? When I think about her sneezing, its not really body language but perhaps a deeper level of somatic language that requires further disseminating.

A young client recently began dry coughing after twenty minutes into counselling. After carefully tracking our discussions around to the "F" word (Feelings) she seemed to develop a non stop dry coughing. She was young and her resistance to counselling was relatively high so I backed off a little. When I started talking again her coughing resumed. I became intrigued with her cough however at the same time kept in mind how my own resistance to physiological writers such as Louise Hayes. In fact Louise Hayes says about coughing;

Coughing...............A desire to bark at the world, "See me! Listen to me!"

When feelings are suppressed to such an extent in life, eventually it becomes helpful to "cough" them out. But what if we really want to talk about feelings and another part of our personality says "we must not talk about them"? "Feelings are too scary" "Shut up, we must protect someone at all costs?" The interpretations of the person's coughing most likely infers that feelings are overwhelming and they prefer the counsellor to go away. The person may not talk about her feelings however there seems to be an element of personality at least attempting to communicate, even if the "words" are frictions in the persons throat.

Frogs and Words are just Frogs and Words

I wondered what manner of things this young person's cough was trying to tell me. The cough turned into another form in my mind. I began to visualize the possibilities of her cough. It was not only the Child part of her personality but a deeper more Somatic Child element trying to communicate. According to my initial feelings about her persistent coughing they may have been about resistance and control. She didn't wish to be in counselling and told me so. I felt that she wanted to block me out and express herself at the same time.

If I chose to go away that would leave her all alone. If I chose to be angry with her coughing that would mean no one was listening to her. It would seem that one would need to try very hard to listen to this particular young girl. To not to be thrown off by her resistance in order to "listen" to her cough. Something inside her was communicating. Perhaps Louise Hayes is right this time? That the girl "needs to be heard and seen" through all the barriers of her resistance? The deeper level part of the girls personality is emerging through an irritation in her throat, the part that needs to be heard and seen.

kenoath

Alien Healing

2008-03-04T20:54:00.006+09:00

Warning to Aboriginal and Torres Strait people. Pictures of Aboriginal Bone pointing device.

Recently I attended a Theosophical retreat where I met some wonderful people and joined in on discussions about Alien Healing. I was most impressed with the level of research by the presenter and by his compassionate will to heal people. The Theosophical Society maintain an open minded credo to all kinds of beliefs and this weekend was no exception. I have been a member for only a short while so unfortunately I cannot do any justice in explaining their open minded, humanitarian principles of brotherhood.

I have heard of Alien Abductee groups run by psychologists and abductees however Alien Healing is quite different. There are apparently Alien spaceships comprising of specialist Doctors who fly to earth with the intention of healing human beings.

There have been many accounts of Alien healing and sitings. According to the details, there have been thousands of Alien sitings which we rarely see on the six o'clock news. One notable account refers to an engineer working in Columbia. Here is the extract of that story;

"Engineer Juan Osorio was working in an area of a local lagoon when a huge lighted disc shaped craft suddenly descended over him. He was somehow hoisted on board the object in a 'platform' made out of light. Inside the brilliantly lit object he was confronted by several tall 'beautiful' human-like beings, wearing shiny silvery clothing and boots. The group included men and women. He felt peace and tranquility while he was conducted to another room. There he was bathed in a soothing red light that appeared to purify him. Later he was asked to remove his clothing and was told to put on a uniform similar to theirs, and then he was taken yet into another room and there a luminous orange colored rectangle enveloped him. A blue-violet haze encased his head apparently going through some time therapeutic process. Soon after his release by the extraterrestrials he was diagnosed totally free of cancer, a disease he had suffered from for sometime now." end quote

Recently practitioners here on earth are learning how to channel or facilitate the Alien Doctors work from the distance between the spacecraft and sick bed.

In my mind, I tend to "believe in nothing and be open to all the possibilities"; Perhaps it is wise to at least remain open to the power within the person, their own belief that such hi-tech healing can happen in lieu of failing cures and treatments of our own hospitals. It is the belief of the Aboriginal for example, where death certainly follows after a witch doctor points the bone at you. Could it be possible we have some very caring aliens practicing their healing around the globe?

I enjoyed the weekend retreat where the atmosphere seemed to have a certain freedom of thought and welbeing in the group. Perhaps that activity is quite refreshing compared to the bounds of more mundane generational styles of thinking.

Kenoath

Separating Not Leaving

2008-03-01T13:13:00.012+09:00

Many young adults these days are being forced into living at home with their parents for longer periods. In many cases the decision to remain in the familial home is framed by practical considerations and the ever increasing costs of living in a modern world. Teenagers and young adults according to the statistics, prefer to move out of home in order to increase their Independence. According to developmental theories, moving out of home is a kind of literal manifestation of the separation process and achieving adulthood.

The Statistics in Australia are 30% Currently

What happens if during this individuation process, the young adult does not have the literal experience to symbolize the psychological process? Can proper psycho-separation be achieved while living under the same roof as the parent figure? Can dependence on parents effectively shift to Independence from parents while living at home?

When Does The Dummy Really Come Out?

The short answer is that everything is possible when it comes to Human evolution and survival techniques. Different cultures around the globe have been learning to survive and adapt for centuries. It does however, place extra pressure on those cultures like mine, which are in the early throes family structural transformations.

Been Doing It For Years

When I was eighteen, I left home to live with friends in a shared house. I think the rent in those days was about $60 per week for a reasonable house. It took me a couple of goes to eventually leave home. The process for me involved anger and heated debates about different value-beliefs. I was very grateful in the end for my parents difference of opinion and unwillingness to accept certain beliefs on my part. We experienced conflict and then separation came in a physical context.

Time To Leave Home

Perhaps in older generations we left home once we got married and that was the determinate aspect of becoming independent from parents. It meant that we had to find a husband or wife in order to separate. Perhaps the literal experience of separation in those days was more physical than current times. One finally knew they were separate from daily parent influences.
These days parents build extra rooms or renovate the garage space to create separate living areas for their adult children to stay at home. Some parents I know who are single parents, build new houses incorporating separate living spaces for their growing children. The children become involved contractually by sharing mortgage responsibility.

I know my generational place perhaps when I consider the options available for modern family units to live under the same roof for longer. Perhaps my need for independence and relatively high Rebellious Child part would feel limited and restricted in such on going family units.

I would feel better to be separate even if it meant living in a house like this!

But that is just me!

Kenoath

After Life

2008-02-23T06:37:00.011+09:00

Picture by Aliza

It's true that the final Developmental Stage in life is where shedding all our attachments to the physical world eventually means drawing our last breath. Like the sign on this therapists gate, perhaps contract disclaimers in our relational life could be utilized more effectively?

When two people get married, the verbal contract to consolidate the union says "for better or worse", "in sickness and in health, "to love and cherish" and so on. In view of the divorce rate perhaps the contract might also contain the words such as "potential for attachments to be removed" in case of the marriage ending;

Seeing as though in the beginning of most relationships the degree of attachments are considerably high, I doubt whether such a disclaimer would be acknowledged. They are indeed cold and threatening words in contrast to the warm inviting ideologies of marriages.

Perhaps prenuptial agreements go a long way to effect some kind of reality to the equation with modern relationships.

Many couples in relationship therapy have reached the stage where they are on the verge of separating. Even though the bonds between these couples in therapy have all but severed, there seems to be great force at work keeping them together still. At times I have asked clients what is the "binding thread" for them? I must admit its a hard question to answer.

Some say they do not know and others might say "that's why we are here in therapy Ken" Some couples refer to a quantitative measure and relate the 'force' keeping them together is the last 10% left in the relationship. Sometimes ten percent of something can be psychologically quite large indeed.

Even if one removes the financial and material aspects of the last ten percent binding some unstable relationships there is still a formidable force that couples seem to use. Staying together seems like a desparate struggle within the adversity and instability. The ten percents that I am referring to are of course the emotional and psychological need for 'attachment' in life.

If a relationship is going to continue, it is that last ten percent, for better or worse, which requires building upon or discarding. Either way there will be some grieving, relative to the way attachments are working in the relationship.

Kenoath

Disclaimer
The gate picture at the top is not really a therapists gate. The picture was supplied by courtesy of my Brooklyn blog friend Aliza.

The 80's

2008-02-10T18:58:00.001+09:00

This one is for Nick

In the 1980's I was a Photograher and very much a rock n roll person. I lived and breathed behind my cameras and sometimes lived in my studio. In the early eighties I lived in a house opposite parliament house which was owned by court judge here in Perth.

This was my Landlady

In the photograph she is wearing my leather jacket and smoking a joint I think? We had a rock n roll affair for a while, she was also a photographer however a little older than me.

Mick Jones of the Clash

This is a photograph I took of the Clash when they came here to Perth in the 80's. I didn't get a photographers pass at this concert which was unusual. The touring company tried to ban cameras and I think I was out of favour with the tour company manager at this time.

I edged my way up through all the punks in the middle concourse at the concert. It was standing room only; I had two camera bodies and various lenses in my jacket pockets. I got some terrific shots of the band while being buffetted by pogo dancing punks all around me. They were using my shoulders to launch off sometimes but I stood steady with my telephoto lens.

Paul Simonon

Afterwards I went backstage with a few others and got several shots after the gig. The shot above of the bass player was just after he had his intravenious vitamins shot. The band let us eat and drink from their eskies and we all enjoyed the euphoria of the powerful performance by the clash.

I guess this is one of the highlights of my experiences through the eighties although one of many.

I wonder where Fiona my landlady is now?

Kenoath

Parent Contract in The Room

2008-01-24T19:12:00.002+09:00

Some parents prefer to check out new counselors they hope to send their child to for help. I think in most cases that is a very good idea unless that is, there is a "Parent Contract" sought with the counselor. I am a great believer in firm and nurturing parenting skills, however draw the line going along with controlling devices of some convincing parents when it comes to counselling their children. Does a counsellor take on board the parents idea of treatment plan and enlist his or her goals for the child's well being

An Early Developmental Change Other Contract

A Parent Contract in Transactional Analysis usually presents with the individual claiming that he must (have to) change a certain behaviour, belief or feeling that is complicating their life. One can clearly hear the "parent in their head" saying what must happen now. Unfortunately "change" does not occur for an individual by following the psychological parent demand. Its doomed to fail in the short term. The parent contract scenario would also seem to apply if the living and breathing parent is in the same room. There is one small difference perhaps in that the parent in the room is also a client in the room. It is possible tin some cases hat prior meetings with Parents can be setting the scene for continuation of parental contracts around their children.

Manipulation of Counsellor

I am happy to work with most situations in the counselling room and sometimes recognise the benefit of accepting different client needs and contracts. It is entirely possible to work creatively with presenting issues that do not seem to fit with text book guidelines and treatment outcomes.

It is good to gain another client to which ultimately adds to weekly incomes however are there limits for accepting seemingly manipulative "change other" contracts from the actual parent. It is a tricky situation indeed as the counselor is required to understand the parent's own psychological (internal) Parent ego state and then deal with the emotional issues of the child.

There are bound to be some confronting areas of mediation and clarifying with the real time parent-child relationship. The actual parent may not like not being in control and think the counsellor is going against their wishes. This may indicate some confusion about the "contract" or goal established during the initial consultation. The parent might feel betrayed and misunderstood if the counsellor attempts deconfusing work too early in the treatment.

It is ok if the counsellor chooses not to accept the Parent Contract with the actual parent by carefully confronting the real time parent and child relationship just in the same manner as the psychological Parent-Child dialogue for an individual. Otherwise the going may get tough further down the track and treatment outcomes may begin to look like the picture of the baby above (top) for the child.

Perhaps a better contract is for the mediation of their relationship which must include both mother and child's willingness for deconfusion and decontaminating aspects of their relationship. Without that willingness (contract), in my view the counsellor can not really accept the Parent Contract with the parent (in the room) parent contract.

Kenoath

Case Closed

2008-01-17T09:33:00.001+09:00

There seems to be quite a different method of operation between some counsellors with regard to methods and protocols. I refer to some non government organisations and agencies who are in some way funded by the government. Often when an agency person calls to ask about my availability for client referral the agency person seems very surprised when I say one or two weeks to get an appointment with me.

Some agency departments working with children and teenagers, which includes mental health areas are often inundated with clients. There are long waiting periods to get into see counsellors. Not with me though! I have heard some counsellors saying with a degree of self importance that "we are full booked" "no availabilities". This must mean they are very busy and have their work "cut out" for the next several months, they seem happy to have a full quota.

The surprise I hear in some agency counsellors voice's when I say my availability is one or two weeks leaves me wondering whether I am not busy enough (good enough) and not as "full up" as them. I do not ponder this too long because I do very good work in the way I run my private counselling practice. The other strange difference I have noticed between styles of client protocols between private and agency counselling work is when the agency person seems to relate closing a case as an accomplishment in their work.

I sense that when a referred client is nearing their quota of funded sessions the agency person is also nearing their goal with the client. Of course my goals for the client may be quite different. I would consider the importance of the work in progress of my client to be essential. Sometimes the success of that work may not fit the same context of agency counsellors quotas. The agency worker and their sense of achievement in closing client files seems to show the pressures in which may effect their individual work place assessment figures. I guess if the agency worker was able to close more cases in one month that is a good thing for their statistics, however my aim is to cure the client. My therapeutic process may not fit into a time frame set out in the context of others protocols. My assessment criteria for achievement seems different to the case worker.

K

post script comment

I think agency counselling services want to help people however there are limited resources and large demands on services. In the end its up to the agency counsellor whether they frame their style of work around the dictates of the system.

I for one would not like to be governed by those type of constraints in my work however at the same time I prefer to steer away from "over prescribing" counselling to clients. I work at one particular agency where they refer clients with limited funding.

It is a very low socio economic area and some of the people I see would never be able to afford counselling if it wasn't for the agency funding. Sometimes I get a referral that says 4 sessions or 6 sessions (with review). Shorter term or "limited session" work can have some very good results in my view however many of the same clients would benefit from longer term work.

It seems that I have one foot in the agency camp and that is perhaps why I am making my comments here. Designing a plan for clients over shorter periods of counselling is a challenging and creative process and one which can produce very good results.

Failure

2008-01-14T13:35:00.001+09:00

Recently a person told me that failure is just a learning experience. I am not sure why he was telling me this however I nodded to him and quietly accepted his philosophical viewpoint. I don't think every person can easily accept failure in life and in fact some may take a cynical view to such philosophy. Failure is definitely a concept to experience however its up to the individual whether they learn from that.

Downturn in life seems to be a measured concept

The Human Race

Why is it called the Human Race? It sounds very much like a competitive affair where some are winners and some are losers. Nobody likes to fail in their endeavours however at some point in life acceptance of failing in the race is inevitable. Some people that I have observed prefer not to accept defeat and seem to opperate in one or two ways.

Exersizing resilience is challenging in itself and to feel successful again can simply be a matter of staying strong by bouncing back in the face of failure; its like an interim stage of being successful again. Losing ones composure and dignity is not necessarily a part of experiencing failure.

What is wrong with accepting that something has failed?

Ending up on the scrap heap can be a fearful thought

Some people prefer to ignore the possibility of their own complicity in failures and they can adhere to rightious beliefs claiming otherwise. Blaming others is not out of the question here or at least vindicating self by reframing their failed actions and claiming to follow seemingly correct protocols in some situation. Do they learn from the experience of failure is the question?

The Blinker method of handling failure

Skipping over the experience has the potential to lead to further failures in life and the continuance of certain personal beliefs according to ones track record.

Some things in life simply come to an end rather than failing. In my view there is nothing wrong with looking at 'failure' or endings in the face and accepting ones own part in such circumstances. That is not an easy thing to do; however in doing so the "failing" can become a learning experience which may allow other opportunities to open up.

Kenoath

Picture This

2008-01-11T15:48:00.001+09:00

Over my relatively short involvement with counselling children I have seen over one thousand different types of anger. Anger does seem to be similar to snowflakes in that no one snowflake is the same. Most children enjoy expressing their anger in some way. Drawing is one helpful way that children express and reflect on angry feelings. In my view, unless there is a connection between feelings and individual experience for a child, it is quite possible that unresolved feelings are carried over into future years.

Picture this

Abandonment by fathers and consequent controlling parenting creates anger that wears through the surface to reveal deeper injury. Taking things on the chin so early in life means being prepared to sacrifice anything and that means within ones character.

Domestic violence and things that were not meant to be seen create contrasting hate and fear. One eye wide open is enough to create fractures or splits in the mind's eye. Corrupt role models beg not to be seen as the ingestion of experience creates other beliefs.

Colourul layers of autistic lines reflect maturation and containers to feelings that best be organised. Anger can be the containing line and extremity like a trees history

Individuality and creativity untangle frustrations eventually. Masking sensitivities and deficits are the source for such impulses and the identity emerges in good time.

Many children have touched my heart over the years and helped me to achieve a personal perspective in life that I am truly grateful for. I wish I could thank them for drawings and trusting.

Kenoath

Ending Despair

2008-01-07T15:38:00.001+09:00

When life becomes intolerable with health issues and there doesn't appear to anything to live for what are the alternatives left for a person?

Recently I have been involved with a person who is seriously considering killing himself. The person has multiple health conditions including Pancreatic cancer, Hepatitis C and heart problems. The outlook for this person is very bleak indeed. His current dilemma involving doctors who decline giving pain medications or admitting the person to hospital are adding to the despair of ending his life. He wants some pain medication however all that can be done apparently is refer him to the pain management clinic. The pain management clinic can only make an appointment for eight weeks time.

Apparently he is known by medico's as an antagonistic patient and previously addicted to drugs.

When the person tries to access medical help he seems to get kicked out of hospitals and surgeries which only serves to reinforce his despair that no one can help. All that is left for him is to take large numbers of panadol which destroys what is left of his liver.

I am in contact with the person by phone as he is several thousand miles away from my location. He has told me that he will kill himself before the 17th January which is his 37th birthday. He tells me how he will drive up into the bush and end it all.

The End of The Road

He is a compassionate hard working man who has sadly had a difficult life. He tells me that he is not copping out on life or is he weak in trying to deal with his health conditions. He just wants out! The pain is unbearable for him however I do not think that is his main concern.

He has tried to call his estranged father however he is told to never call him again. All the person wants is a hug from someone who understands. Thats not too much to ask for in my view. The person just wants to be hugged and appreciated before he goes.

A Man With Means

So I can understand that he wishes to end his life and that he has the means to do that. All I can do is talk with him and be there for him during the last days of his life. He has agreed to call me ten minutes before killing himself. He will drive into the bush away from the society that he percieves as rejecting him. He will pull the trigger, gas himself or most likely inject himself with too much heroin. Most likely in his case he will do all of the above to make sure the job is successful.

He will leave this earth knowing that at least someone has listenned and to a certain extent understood his concerns. Until then I will hear his tears and give him hugs over the telephone. There is nothing else I can do.

Suicide in most cases is about ending the despair.

Kenoath

Composite Subjectivities

2008-01-07T11:30:00.001+09:00

Intersubjectivity is about the sharing of subjective states by two or more individuals. The intersubjective unconscious relationship between two people (as described by therapist and client relationship) is explained by Ogden

Thomas H. Ogden (1999), discusses his notion of an 'analytic third' and explains that

"I view the intersubjective analytic third as an ever-changing unconscious third subject (more verb than noun) which powerfully contributes to the structure of the analytic relationship. The analytic third is at first almost entirely an unconscious phenomenon. Since the unconscious, by definition, cannot be invaded on the wings of the brute force of will, the analyst and analysand must use indirect (associational) methods to "catch the drift" (Freud, 1923/1955, p.115) of the unconscious co-creation."

So in the initial stages of relational unconscious space between clinet and therapist both subjectivities are somehow combining or dancing in supposedly a productive interplay. The composite subjectivities might look something like this.

The Client's Subjectivity

The Therapist's Subjectivity

The Composite Subjectivities

My thinking and question is, how do we know that the two subjectivities are interplaying or dancing with each other or in fact combining in a composite form and therfore constantly shape shifting depending on the therapist and client's unconscious process? What really does go on in the intersubjective unconscious space? The therapist uses her skills to sense what is going on for her in relation to the client and might say openly; " I sense that the stripey nature between us at the moment." Perhaps the client may process the situation and sense "my feelings about the relationship allow my stripiness and I feel its ok to place them with the therapist".

The Relational Therapist may define verbally or silently, something that is not visible or tangible in the relationship with the client. The therapist allows the relationship to explore what goes on between them. Over time the client may benefit through the strength, understanding, solidarity and empathy found in the intersubjective relational unconscious.

The two subjectivities in composite is one theory perhaps however there may be limitless ways the intersubjective relational unconscious's actually work together.

Also see http://kenoath.wordpress.com/2008/01/07/relational-composite/ for a different view.

Kenoath

The Good The Bad and The Unlovable

2007-12-07T10:30:00.000+09:00

Often I hear people refer to a simple however seemingly vast statement in matters of a persons psychology; that "they are unlovable". That is a very big statement to make about self or other. Recently I heard how a psychologist mentioned to his client's personality as "unlovable". I am not sure of the context it was said however the client now feels vindicated, perhaps by way of diagnostic label, as if he has the disorder UD (Unlovable Disorder).

I must admit to knowing many people who consider themselves unlovable in some way and see how they go out of their way to not have close relationships in their lives. It is indeed a Script in their life. The only problem I can see with this type of thinking or behaviour is when the same person is forever looking for the perfect relationship in their life. Underneath they are unawares of their hidden trend (Script) towards unlovable status. One can imagine the frustration and dissapointment involved for a person who works against themself in such a manner.

"Why Me" one might cry, as they assume the 'not ok' and unlovable status once again.

Saying that one is Unlovable is a mouthful.

Wikipedia on Law of Attraction

The Law of Attraction is commonly associated with New Thought and New Age theories, beliefs, and practices. It states that people experience physical and mental manifestations that correspond to their predominant thoughts, feelings, words, and actions and that people therefore have direct control over reality and their lives through thought alone. A person's thoughts (conscious and unconscious), emotions, beliefs and actions are said to attract corresponding positive and negative experiences, or "harmonious vibrations of the law of attraction". The "law of attraction" states "you get what you think about; your thoughts determine your experience."end quote

The laws of attraction say that I have to think or do 'Good' in some way to get something good back in life. I was never one for bookeeping or accountancy however it seems the 'ledger' for some people I know is constantly in the red no matter what they do!"

Perhaps these laws of attraction could be ammended to include victim impact statements and perhaps offender mediation? A high court appeal avenue for those erroneously charged with unlovable status would be fair don't you think? Lawyers will make millions from the number of "unlovables" willing to sue those who make the Laws of Attraction.

Get me out of this Unloved place

Lately it seems there is a rush on Unlovable status in my neighborhood. Perhaps in the psycho-social trends there are special offers and cheap plans for the Unloved presently? In my small sphere of the world perhaps the laws of attraction are working perfectly and therfore my blog investigating the 'unloved'. So what about the millions of people that fit the Unloved category? They do seem to continue hugging their unlovablness like its the only love they have available.

Who will love these guys?

So is there a problem with not having close and intimate relations? Not if its not a problem for you, in my view. It's ok to love self and be content with self. However humans do seem to have an instinctive drive towards having loving relations, its the way humans survive. Perhaps the "unloved" are rebelling against a tide too great, that biological-innate pull towards being loved in life.

The Unlovable character in the movie "Little Miss Sunshine"

There are certain outcomes in life for a person adhering to their Unloved status .

Lonely, Sad, distant, victim, angry, lots of space, low phone bills, isolated etc

So what do the Unloved really want?

To Be Loved?

If that is the case, it does seem that the Unloved are going about things the hard way to get what they really need. It might be that the Law of Attraction is indeed incarcerating the Unloved unjustly. The Universe and Laws of Attraction are getting it wrong! Perhaps the Unloved would do well with a better lawyer or even Therapist to help the person broadcast that they are really lovable and they are waiting patiently to be loved again.

So, do you think you are Unlovable?

Victim and Lovable

Kenoath

Five Day Hell High

2007-11-11T11:43:00.000+09:00

Well Benny Cousins is back in town after his five day cocaine binge in America. "So much for rehabilitation" people might say about Ben.

Relapsing is a part of rehabilitation

Five days of cocaine bingeing requires a decent pile of substance. I wonder about the type of experience one goes through in five days of abuse. One does need a big pile to continually go up and up with cocaine.

But what about the down and down part? As any logical thinker will tell you "what goes up must come down". The intensity of the highs and lows fueled by cocaine must eventually end somewhere. I would imagine that all cocaine users have a good understanding of what it must be like when their pile is all gone! It ends somewhere and at sometime, unless you are Scar face living in Bolivia.

Depending on where one is sitting (psychologically), the beginning of a cocaine binge will perhaps be a reference point for ones highs and lows. That is when you go up, the downward swing will ultimately see you seated somewhere about the place you came in. Therefore if one is depressed to start with (whether they know that or not) the downward swings from the high of cocaine will most likely be desparately low. It must feel really bad at that low point, so bad that the only thing that will probably help is more cocaine. So another line and one goes up again enjoying the moment and relief from those desparing bits left off down there somewhere. So if one does have a pile of cocaine they can stay high, seemingly forever although all users must know that cocaine eventualy runs out.

Ben in Fear and Loathing US style

Everyone has normal highs and lows in life and depending on the individual will be above the median or below in the cycles of moods etc.

Undulating highs and Lows

Intensity of highs and lows during cocaine binge perhaps.

After some time with a five day binge I presume the person will succumb to the intensity of the experience and they will have a remarkably altered cognitive state. In that way it is possible that the usual defenses and basic protective systems built into personality will also break down and dissolve into the cocaine experience. Therefore the lows one may experience after adminstering the "highs" of cocaine may become even lower than the levels the person would normally allow themselves to go. Why would someone wish to go so low? That must be scary down there? That must be a desparingly desolate place and then only to reach for another line of "something better"; the cocaine wonderment becomes a fixer of something deep and cracked. Perhaps the person is searching for that early narcissistic wounding in hope to resolve that pain in their life, albeit by chemical highs.

Narcissistic Wound

There is one sure factor involved in all of this binging and that is it will have to end somewhere. The body is not designed to take such drug induced intensity for long periods of time. So there is a great chance that the person on a five day binge laps into hoping that they will never come down and perhaps never come out of the binge alive (down again). "It will probably be better if I die during such an ecstatic high"

"Coming down to the bits left off in town" (I love that beatles song about Mother Superior and a warm gun). From what I understand about cocaine and how it effects the CNS (central nervous system) is that the person is extremely low on self esteem post the binging period.

Skin crawling with fear. Overexposure!

Convalescing from such a bingeing will require building up ones psychic strength again. That is not an easy path for anyone to take let alone someone who is being consistently pounded by the media. I would imagine that if Ben Cousins was to read all the stories in the paper and watch the clips of himself at airports etc in his reduced capacity (self esteem) there is a chance that he will be feeling a great deal of pain in regard to his binge trip. I don't really know, maybe he doesn't?

I would hazzard a calculated guess that Ben in some respects will be a suicide risk at the moment. Football is not any option for Ben now, there is something else emerging as priority one for him! Unless that is, Ben does decide to find a way to kill himself in the next two weeks.

I hope not.

Kenoath

Crimanti Relational

2007-11-02T17:42:00.003+09:00

Well its official the season of the Sopranos is finally over. Unfortunately there is some doubt whether this cult crime drama will continue ever again. I must admit my love of watching this mafia-family soap. There has never been a collection of antisocial or sociopathic characters in just one tv show. (except for the prison show called OZ perhaps)

If you are familiar with the antisocial personality type you will know that the descriptions of Con Man, charming manipulator and rule breaker are but a few statements one can make about this type of person. The anti social type seems to have more regard for himself than he does for others. The anti social personality type will attempt to sell you something or con you and if all else fails rob you of something.

The Soprano's are not just anti social characters, however Tony and the gang have quite sociopathic tendencies. The boys seem to incorporate killing as a normal routine task and when together as a group they seem to turn on each other like a pack of dogs. These soprano characters all have personal relationships and interesting backgrounds but they also form the nucleus of an organised crime gang where death and violence are comonplace.

Tony Soprano is a formiddable mafia boss, a man to fear and a man to love, a father and human being. Perhaps that is what the studio directors are selling us and the character that James Gandolfini portrays.

Tony Soprano aka James Gandolfini

The characters in the series form various relationships with family members, crime figures and even FBI agents with purely one aim. To get something out of each other. The anti social type is motivated to set up relationships for self gain at the expense of the other. They seem to show a willingness to sacrifice relationships for something more important. It's obvious to me that superficial relationships would be the best kind to have in the Soprano's industry.

So what are the Producers and directors of this tv show trying to sell us? The characters in the drama are dangerous criminals and also portrayed as having loving human qualities. Perhaps the "selling" here is about pseudo human relationships?

The atisocial person is out to gain for themselves. Their life position might be "Im OK your highly irelevent" I+ U (?--). (Ref Tony White)

The same types of relationship postions are explored in the show's therapy visits by Tony Soprano. The relationship betwen his therapist involves adversarial transference. Tony seems to be angry and while attempting more vulnerable feelings to connect with his therapist. They always seem to come back to the adversarial level. What does Tony want from therapy one might ask? Over time Tony Soprano "sells" the therapist the psuedo relationship and they do seem to enter into relational subjective spaces.

But it appears that working with anti social and anti relationship types with talk therapy has the potential to increase his pathology. Lorraine Bracco plays the confident psychodynamic therapist who terminates Tony's treatment when she realises Tony has been "selling her" all along. She reads some theory and takes advice from a colleague about the antisocial client using therapy to hone their pathological skills. I interpreted the therapists countertransference to involve hate and anger. Had Tony Soprano achieved his anti relationship payoff by getting his therapist to finaly feel hate?

Hate is strong like the feeling of Love

In the last show she has had enough of Tony ripping pages out of her waiting room magazines before his appointment. Perhaps the aim of the anti relationship person is prove that relationships always seem to end. The type of attachments and family relationships in the Soprano's environments is echoed in Tony's therapy sessions.

Anti Inter-Relational Work

Adversarial Transference

So the anti social personality in my view of the Soprano's, is that they really wish to have deeper connections and relationships with others, however there is a way they stop themselves before achieving that relationship. The person shows their genuineness in order to have heart felt understanding relations in life. After some time it is highly likely that the genuine qualities become the hook to the anti social person. They seem to gain power as they continue the charming and manipulative process. I guess for them its like seeing a bargain and then going for the benefit involved. The power is in the con and the negative outcome (sacrifice) is the anti relationship. For the Anti Social person, life is unfair, "you cannot trust anyone" therefore "its ok to take advantage of others" to get what you need.

Tony selling the therapist

Anti Relationship work is about stepping into the con and being involved in the Anti Relational game while having a clear idea about ones own boundaries. The end of the relationship is always looming and the person will sadly or happily, probably get what they want from you.

kenoath

Mourning Time

2007-10-28T18:52:00.001+09:00

We lost and hour today, sadly. Yes, Unfortunately Daylight savings took the hour in the other early hours of the morning.

RIP 1 Hour

kenoath

Leap of Faith

2007-10-26T11:12:00.000+08:00

I watched my cats the other day leaping from the roof of the house down to a small garden table some three metres below. They seemed to point their heads downward, sensing and smelling the air before jumping. Cats are reknown for being skilled leapers and seem to always land on their feet. I watched the cat edging forward, with prescise placement of paws which were coiled ready to leap from the high roof. One final smelling like calculation and bang off he went. Perfect landing. Perhaps this was a regular jump for them however their preamble to jumpng is very interesting indeed. I don't think I could make a jump like that unless I had faith in my skills.

It seems that in life sometimes situations present themselves where we gotta take a leap of faith whether we have the skills to that or not. Ready or not we are thrown in the proverbial deep end. It might take some time getting familiar or for that matter we stumble around looking like we know what is going on but all the while feeling like a fool unto ourselves.

These strange experiences provide rich learning environments even though that can feel awkward. Somehow trusting the "new" in where we land involves relenquishing some safe and known aspects of life.

It is not for everyone.

So who would jump into a dangerous ravine and tempt some terrible thing to happen to them? A Risk taker for sure. Not all of us are tempted into this premedicated act of thrillseeking and perhaps take more comfort in new and experiential activities.

Some like staying in their chair

Never the less there are those times like I have said above where circumstances prevail and there is no ther way off the precipe except to jump. Being thrown into life's experiential lessons is like becoming the fool again, perhaps much the same way we felt when going through teenage times.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fool_%28Tarot_card%29

Middle age can bring about all manner of resistance to doing new things in life and sometimes our risk taking takes another path.

To jump into "the new" it seems that another part of our self must be dealt with firstly. The routines and sured-ness of the old must be disconnected somehow. Even if we become the Fool and spontaniously take a leap of faith without regard to safety and consequences we are in fact disconnecting from that part of self. We are killing the safety of the old ways off in taking the leap.

So something must seem to die in the process of taking a leap of faith. We let go of the known. In "Doing something for the first time" there is a transformation of some kind, to mind body and spirit. The level of that transformation depends on the experience we allow ourselves to have.

Transformation

One can easily go overseas for the first time and come back and say they are transformed but are they really? The act of doing something new for the first time doesn't necesarily mean transformation rather than just the act itself proporting the notion of transformation. So some time after having such a new experience we tend to settle back into the old and known ways.

By taking the leap of faith into the new and embracing the process of surrendering to the Fool, might very well be the measure of any transformation experienced.

Are you ready to be sold on the idea of doing something for the first time?

Kenoath

Apology Not

2007-09-29T17:25:00.002+08:00

In my older age I have come to appreciate the good sense in making formal apologies when for some reason that becomes appropriate. Saying sorry does seem to diffuse situations that would otherwise escalate resentment and friction. It makes sense to find win-win situations for my own and others benefit. It’s ok to apologize.

I remember when at high school a maths teacher whacked me across the face with a one metre wooden blackboard ruler. I was in class sitting back in my chair having finished the work before anyone else. She asked me to get on with it and to wipe that smug look off my face. I replied “but I have finished Mrs Storer”. For some reason she was very angry and broke the ruler over my head. I remember walking out of the class and demanding the deputy headmaster to deal with the assault. I said to him that I would not go back into that class without an apology from her and I was going to call the cops. I never did get that apology and instead I was put up into the advanced maths class. The situation was unresolved and without an apology.

I learned from that incident that it was ok for me not to apologize if I didn’t want to. “If they don’t apologize why should I?” Similarly children learn "not to apologize” from parenting situations gone wrong. Parents can be stubborn by maintaining their unbending positions by dishing out punishments they think fit the circumstances. Regardless whether the punishments are appropriate or not children can view these situations as unfair.

Children over time develop the belief that unfairness rules their world and then defend their position by digging in. Injustice rules the lives of many children growing into their teenage years and developing trench warfare seems to become a viable option for many.

Life in the trenches is precarious at the best of times. The western front soldiers from the relative safety of their trench would make occasional attacks on the enemy and then slip back into the trench. War was fought long and hard in this manner.

Trench warfare has its benefits for teenagers because so many of them are fighting in this manner. Teenagers have their different stories of glory to share with each other and thus in a group process reinforce taking such positions. Unfortunately trench warfare is slow moving and sometimes means being stuck in there for a very long time.

Some teenagers I know refuse to conform by apologizing even though juvenile justice teams have directed them to do so. Some students refuse to write apologies to their school even though it means expulsion if they choose not to.

One teenager recently hacked into the schools administrator’s computer and disabled 400 computers for nearly one week. Obviously he is an extremely intelligent young man with his sights set on a career in the defense force. So why does he refuse to apologize?

In some cases teenagers find the best way they know, to organize the chaos in his life by staying in control. A young man may exhibit a high degree of intelligence through his various skills however the gulf between emotional intelligence and intellectual intelligence can be vast as they accelerate into adult life. It is very difficult for the teenager to deal with perceived injustices and hurts over the years by conforming any more. Similarly, a teenager senses overwhelming feelings with all their years of conforming, that they must remain in control for fear of a psychic annihilation. In a way the teenager needs to find a way to become a super hero unto himself to survive. Apologizing for his indiscretions is like giving in to his grief and ultimate destruction by the enemy.

He or she lights up with defiance in the face of life changing elements and refuses to apologize. These options can be indeed be life changing for many young boys and girls. It is important to validate and understand the teenager through these precarious times. It is sad and difficult for parents dealing with the extreme nature of the teenagers "digging in". When practical concerns highlight the need for children to apologise for their indescretions sometimes there is not enough time to do so. When apologies are due tomorrow and the child is under pressure to conform, it is much easier for them to be defiant.

Ken

Marvin the Martian

2007-09-25T13:47:00.001+08:00

I found this wonderful cartoon of Marvin the Martian. When I was younger I loved watching Bugs Bunny and Marvin fight it out in space. Marvin would usually say "I am very angry, very very angry" however in this clip below he seems to have found another approach. I hope you enjoy the short cartoon.

Ken

Artistic Criminal Child

2007-09-22T11:28:00.000+08:00

I am often amazed with the ingenuity and creative licence many youth of today seem to express themselves. Intelligence and identity are often expressed in extremes by teenagers resulting in artistic crimes against society. Of course not all 'artistic crimes' are indictable however their contraversial implications go a long way to provoke conservative ideas and beliefs.

There are for example different groups of graffiti taggers that divide themselves into TM's - "Trouble Makers" and or AC's - "Artistic Criminals".

There are various successful outcomes for the Artistic Criminal and sometimes that success is not entirely about art expression. It seems that the artistic criminal gains the greatest satisfaction by avoiding being caught. Getting away with a particular 'criminal act' is their expression of intelligence and "art". The art of escape is perhaps their success and reward.

Where I live in Australia there is such a thing called "Late Night". This seems to be a social ritual where teenagers gather in large numbers at suburban shopping centres. The most common occurrence at these gatherings is when security personel and teenagers altercate over shopping centre and territorial boundaries. Usually there is one teenager that takes up the challenge to push the limits until he forced to run away fast. When the security guard chases the offender down the street the group of teenagers revel in the engagement. Successs for the teenager is escaping down the road from the security person and living to tell his story.

Being unsuccessful means that the teenager is dragged off by the security person and most likely cautioned or charged with an offence. The teenager can then find himself in counselling and attending any number of youth agency services the government pumps millions of dollars into. I know one teenager who has been caught several times for vandalising the back of bus seats. Unfortunately for him, some vigilant student has caught his creative vandalism each time on a mobile phone camera. It seems that he is not interested in curbing his artistic crimes even though it might mean expulsion from his school. It seems as though his expression of identity via artistic criminality is a normal part of life for him.

Some of the other "criminal artists" in society also tend to push that fine line between the law and artistic expression. Take Madonna's performance in Germany last year where she appeared on a cross on stage. The authorities were considering charging her with the laws restricting religious discrimination. She got away with her art and gained some publicity.

And what of Paris Hilton's recent incarceration for what appears to be an ongoing expression of her Artistic Criminalilty? The artfom of getting away with individual expression through controversy is nothing new and many previous generations have revelled in this form of expression. Why? "Because it feels good" according to some clients I know.

The successful artistic criminal "gets away with it" and like compulsive gamblers are lured back to the challenge of proving their 'win' time and time again because it feels good. Getting busted is a bummer and means being forced into the systems way of doing things for a period of time.

With counselling artistic criminals I have found that there is also a fine line to tread for successful treatment outcomes. Somehow the counsellor needs to find a way to connect with the "artistic criminal child". Establishing therapeutic relationship with this part of the person seems to be the ultimate treatment goal rather than focussing on negative behaviours and anger issues.

Some theorists notably Eric Berne has named the Demon Child as some kind of attached external child ego state "dictator" which allows what when and how things happen with child ego expression however the Artistic Criminal Child is more about an overlapping contamination perhaps best described in structural states of the P1 A1 C1 of the Child Ego State. It is a force to reckon with. It sounds very much like the functional rebellious child, can be mistaken for too much free child however has its origins in Little Professor or A1. My disclaimer for 'tagging' over traditional theories is perhaps my own Artistic Criminal Child.

Kenoath

Personal Space

2007-07-17T09:31:00.000+08:00

There has been some very good discussions and blogging about dealing with the Child Ego state in some difficult counselling clients. Graffiti's (Tony White) blogs describes the function of the different parts of Child Ego state very well. He outlines in his blogs the nature of dealing with the difficult aspects of the Rebellious Child, Conforming Child and Free Child. Check it out at http://graffiti99.blogspirit.com/

One of the ways I find dealing with difficult aspects of the Child Ego States in people is through the relational method. This is where the Counsellor becomes a transitional figure for the client over a period of time. There is a good amount of healing work that goes on via the relationship between client and therapist.

The Rebellious Child

One way the rebellious client seems to benefit from this type of counselling is through giving permissions. In other words by letting the client be rebellious in the sessions seems to help in the initial stages of establishing the relationship. In this way the counsellor might represent a transitional figure that the client needs to make his or her adjustments in life. It seems obvious to me that the rebel will always need an authoratative figure to remain in the rebellious position. So hopefully the "permissions" therapy at least side tracks a relational position that seems to go no where.

There are a couple of ways the Rebellious Child employs to maintain their position in life. One way might be where the child part of personality actually seeks out an active authority figure to relate to. Another possibility for the rebellious client is to somehow maintain an authoratative "object" or voice in their own heads. In Transactional Analysis that voice tends to come from the Critical Parent ego state. The child part in the psyche does battle with the authoritative part in the psyche, hence reinforcing rebellious thoughts, feelings and behaviours in the Child Ego State.

Working with a particular teenager who seems to fit the category of "difficult to deal with" clients recently, I realised that our good relational work over a few years required redefining. The young client had achieved some very good progress in some areas, however it seemed as if we had reached a point where even my "permissions" interventions were tending to reinforce his rebellious beliefs in the world. "What to do now? " I asked myself. How do I maintain the good work without going back on the permissions therapy?

Lucky for me there were some external pressures in the life of my client that increased his acting out behaviours and some of those "leaked" out in our sessions. My client does tend to fart a few times in each and every session. He likes my permissions to be himself and I do not challenge his rebellious and free child behaviour often. I think he would fart regardless of our relationship, he does so to get a laugh and connect with me in this way. He exersizes his Free Child by connecting me via farting. If I was to ban his farting then I would be seen as the authorative person putting more restriction on his life and most likely sound like a hypocrit. I would feel like a hypocrit too.

What? No Farting? No Child Stuff?

Over a couple of weeks the young client continued to challenge me by getting very close to me in the waiting room area after the session. In one instance he placed his face an inch away from my face and pouted his lips like he was going to kiss me. Another time he hovered around me at very close range. He was challenging me and it seemed that I had one of two choices to make at this point.

Up close and personal

I could have reacted and told him to piss off or even pushed him away with my hand. I understood the severity of his father's rejection in his life so I felt quite trapped in relation to his testing my personal space boundaries. I nudged him and said "you get too close". The difficulty in testing relationships is that you can run the risk of ending up like this.

I think he understood my boundary but the relational testing process was not over yet. We have recently discussed how our relationship is changing and reflected on him getting too close to me. I believe he wants to get close however he chooses a rebellious way to do that.

It is surprising how therapeutic interventions emerge in counselling sometimes. The next time he farted in my room it was the most terrible smell one can imagine. He was recently ill with a gastro bug and his system really put some disgusting smells in the room. This time I challenged him for getting too close again. I am ok that he farts but not when he wishes to fan the shitty gasses over in my direction. I gave him a nudge and said "you are getting too close" "you put your shit in my face". I guess my tone was firmer this time.

The transference of these inocuous gasses was not unlike a gross indecent invasion of my personal space. Assault by fart perhaps? It seemed like a kind of molesting and his need to gain control or connect with me at the same time. Well, I have heard of displacement issues and I know about projection matters but there comes a time and place to reinforce ones personal boundaries.

So the relationship with my young client may have changed direction now. Hopefully we will find new ground to continue our work. Perhaps we will become stuck again in another way? Instead of pushing him away and rejecting him, instead of being angry and critical of him, a very useful "opportunity" emerged in our relational boundaries. I understood him in different ways and that it was ok to protect my personal space. It also seems as though there are aspects of connecting with his father that he dearly misses. Perhaps as a baby the client remembers his connection with dad by way of his displaced smells and other baby stuff. Its just his way of doing things.

Personal Space

Kenoath

Relational Silence

2007-07-02T09:14:00.000+08:00

Recently I went to the movie cinema to see Shrek 3 and before the movie started a friend and I had dinner in the nearby foodhall. The foodhall was quite deserted and we sat down in a sea of empty tables to scoff down some food. While eating our scrummy takeaway style food my friend knocked over her full bottle of drink on the table. It seemed to be a normal accidental spill that we all do from time to time and as the drink spilled over the table and floor it unfortunately dripped onto my friends handbag. Bugger!

We both looked at each other and the mess and decided to move to the next empty table to continue eating our dinner. Not long after the spill a cleaning lady appeared out of nowhere and began to clean up the spill. I looked at my friend and then at the cleaning lady mopping the floor. Nothing was said, however in my mind there seemed to be more than just silence going on between the three of us at that moment. I thought to myself that we were the only patrons sitting at tables and the cleaning lady might have made reference to the mess and my friends half empty drink. My friend and I continued on without appologising or showing any sign that we contributed to the mess. The cleaning lady is of course paid to clean up mess and in a way we had given her something to do.

I related to earlier times in my life when mum would get angry at us children causing her more work when we occasionaly made spills such as these. I looked at my friend and she seemed to be unperturbed about the incident however I couldn't help but sense some invisible forces at work between the three of us.

Mostly children are invited to clean up their own mess or at least attempt that task in the process of learning to be careful and think about what they are doing at the dinner table. I thought it interesting that my friend did not move her position or view from her dinner, she appeared to ignore the cleaning lady mopping the mess that just happened.

In a way I think we as adults decided quite logically to move tables and avoid the sticky mess to get on with our eating however we chose the least line of responsibility too. In the silence between us and the cleaning lady I sensed a certain amount of tension. Was this only in my head?

I asked my friend later what was going on for her at that time and she said nothing. I didn't get a chance to ask the cleaning lady who was obviously at the end of her shift what she was thinking about the spilled mess. Maybe she was thinking about something completely removed from the incident, I just don't know.

The interesting thing for me was that I was considering all manner of scenarios including guilt and rebelliousness on behalf of my friend, scorn and judgement on behalf of the cleaning lady and my own impartial observation (bystander) to the whole affair.

In the end I agreed privately to myself there was more going on in the Relational Silence than just "nothing" and that sometimes, I might think way too much. Which brings me to a joke that my brother told once. He held his hands on his head and swivelled his hips to and fro in empty space asking what does this mean? Well no one could answer him and at the right punch line moment he said "fucking nothing".

Kenoath

The Gang in Our Head

2007-06-27T22:40:00.001+08:00

Recently I attended a seminar that is one of a series describing Object Relations Therapy (ORT). The presenter was well credentialed in Group Relations and Psychoanalytical Therapy. I must admit this is a new area of investigation for me and I was lucky enough to get a seat for the series of eight seminars.

Object Relation Theory in its basic form states that people are relation seeking rather than pleasure seeking as Freud suggested. There is an emphasis on relationships in the theory translates to relationships as the main focus of psychotherapy, especially the relationship with the therapist.

The “object” in the theory can be people (mother, father, others) or things, such as transitional objects we form attachments with. These objects and the developing child's relationship with them are incorporated into a self, and become the building blocks of personality.

Apparently a group becomes a group when a set of individuals establishes a function for that group to operate. Imagine hundreds of people on a train traveling to the sports stadium. They are just people on a train making a journey; however at the sports stadium they support their favourite team along with thousands of others. The people have developed a purpose and thus many fanatical football supporters become a group.

Group Relations is about the object we form about our relationship in the group. In a way we have developed an object in our psyche about our early experience in groups including our family. I quite liked the phrase “we have established a gang in our head”.

Group Relations proposes that we have a set of objects in our mind related to the development and formation of intereleted people within a particular group. We also experience the reality of being in a particular group. The group in our mind may at times be different to a particular group (actual group) that we “experience” and that may emerge as a degree of stress in our experience.

A client comes with a whole other idea or organization in the mind of other groups out there in the world and begins to relate various aspects of those with the therapist or in the group experience.

The Blog Group is also a unique way that individuals “experience” groups. That is of course, if that blog-group has developed a purpose and become a group or forum.

K

Greetings

2007-06-24T18:51:00.000+08:00

Welcome to my new Blog where I hope to write about my favourite topics and explore new ones that become of interest to me. My background is quite diverse and has involved at one time or other, careers such as Photography, Stonemasonry, Astrology and Psychotherapy.

I hope that my blog pals from Blogster, Blogstream, Blogspirit and other forums will come by from time to time and say hello. For now I will leave you with an image that I created some years ago for Winter Theatre, a production by Michael Gow in Fremantle. The production involved a multi media presentation and my photographic interpretation of various scenes.

Which way does the Vortex appear to you? Inward or outward?

I like the concept in which man made structures can appear organic and offer more complex meanings to the observer much like some aspects of nature can. In this case, perhaps I was viewing hope and enlightenment in my life while being drawn into new and unexplored experiences. Deep for a car park don't you think?

Welcome

Kenoath